Synopsis: Made In Wario(being released in N. America as Wario Ware) is one of the best things Nintendo has ever made. I mean, it's like the developers travelled to some parallel dimension where nothing made sense, beat the crap out of the dimension and crammed it into a cartridge. The entire game is a serious of three second mini-games played in rapid succession. There's no pause for explanation, nor is any attempt made to try to accustom you to what is happening. This is what makes the game shine, especially for those who have been playing games for a long time and can instinctively react to what they see very quickly. Everyone else will get mad at the game and start banging on it with their big ol' ape fists until animal control arrives. Platform:Gameboy Advance

Come get him ladies! Quickly now, before someone else does!

   Well, Nintendo has struck gold again and have proceeded to melt said gold into shiny, shiny coins that I will madly collect. Made In Wario starts off with our anti-hero sitting at home watching television and exploring his nose, in pink pants. A report come on the television from a news dog who is apparently talking about something that might be a new best-selling game or maybe just a new-best selling box of some kind. This spurs Wario on to jump hundreds of feet into the air onto his motorcycle and start up his very own software company. Because he's greedy you see. He wants money. He's gonna make a game and sell it to make lots of money. Ya follow? So he jumps into his boombox and the adventure begins!
   I was immediately confused by the first setup screen of the game. For a second I thought this whole game had been a cruel joke to confuse me and that the video of people playing the game I had seen was fake. It turns out I was just supposed to enter my name. Now all the letters were replaced by japanese squiggly things so I just picked the ones that I thought looked prettiest and went on. This was where everything went from fun to more fun.
   Now, I'll admit that I'm not Nintendo's biggest fan, I consider myself a moderate in the console wars. That being said, Nintendo has been releasing a number of excellent games this year that make me want to bend to their iron will. This game falls into that category. There's not a bit of it that makes sense but it makes you happy as hell, so you don't bother trying to rationalize it...like love. Made In Wario is also like love because there's some dancing and mermaids and dressing up and drinking and sharks. I might even hazard to say that this game is 99.9% pure love, at least I would if I hadn't already said it was made out of a non-sensical dimension. But it is still pretty lovely. I'm gonna marry it this April, you're all invited to the wedding, it's gonna be fun.

I don't know, and I don't care.

   The graphics vary greatly throughout the multitude of mini-games, from LCD-style games to some other stuff that isn't that thing I just said, this game has it all. The sound and music in the game are also great, some of the music is so catchy you'll be singing it to yourself in the shower, if that's the kind of thing you do. Blah blah blah some other stuff about the technical aspects of this game so it sounds like I know what I'm talking about. ONTO THE MINI-GAMES!
   The game progresses by the player beating a series of fast-paced mini-games one after the other. It's pretty much up to the player to figure out how each one works each time. Most reasonably intelligent people will be able to figure it out, even my brother who normally takes eons to adapt to things got the hang of it pretty quickly. The mini-games range from dressing Wario, playing tennis, a fighting game, catching a baseball, weaving in and out of traffic and even catching a BATON. Can you fucking believe it? A baton. I mean, a baton? That's some crazy shit right there.
   After beating a series of timed mini-games you go to a Boss Stage. The boss stages are not timed but they make you feel just as crazy. Ranging from something as simple as punching a pendulous metal ball to a top-down space shooter, the boss games rock as hard as everything else in this game.

Does this guy look like me? YOU DECIDE! No wait, I'll decide.

   All this being said I did have one beef with the game. And it was follows: There's a guy in one of the mini-games who totally fucking looks like me. I swear they stole my soul and smeared it on the screen to make a picture of me. Aside from the ludicrously over-sized glove, that guy is a dead ringer for yours truly. Now this isn't really a beef, but I really couldn't find anything I didn't like about this game. And with that, I bid you adieu suckers! Oh, and you can find the rom for this game here, you know, if you're too cheap to buy it, like I am.