"BIG COOL BATTLES!"

This started out as an idea for a movie, but went horribly wrong when, after the third line of dialogue, I realised we could never pull it off.

Colin as: The Church.

Moss as: The Ace Star-Fighter Pilot.

Justin as: The Team.

Jason as: The Belt-sander.

***

Setting: Somewhere with Trees. Possibly Russia.

Moss: We need to break in, and get it back.

Justin: Yeah, lets go.

Setting: Inside Colin's house

Colin: We can't let them get it..

Jason: BEDTIME!

Colin: HOLY SHIT!

Jason chases Colin around with a blanket, in efforts to put him in bed. Colin eventually escapes out a window.

Setting: Outside Colin's house.

Colin: That was close. Time to fun… Out.

Colin runs off camera.

Cut to Colin fighting bear footage.

Colin: Fuddle duddle!

*Slide whistle sound effect. *

Colin: And SHWABBIE DOO!

*Canned Laughter. *

Cut to Justin and Moss. Moss and Justin shrug. Colin runs into shot singing, and then stops and winks at the camera. Moss and Justin chase him into the distance in fast motion.

Cut to Colin waking up in bed, startled.

Colin: Whew! It was all a dream!

Pan out to reveal bear lying in bed with Colin, smoking a cigarette.

Colin: Per-SNICKETY!

Bear mauls Colin as camera fades to black. Ragtime music plays in background.