From: Brad Hackinen
To: The Orange Arrow
Subject: Needs more Guff.
Message:
You guys need more guff. Yes that's right, more guff. Not to be confused with "Gus" mind you, one Gus is enough. It's guff that you need. You also need more comics. Yes. Comics and Guff. That is what you need.

Guff eh? I can do guff. I just bgsounded guff right into this page. This makes me both very smart and at the same time, EXTREMELY smart. In fact, double everything. Tommy guns akimbo. Sexy sexy ninja women in big furry russian bearsuits. Oh shit, then Yuri could come in and totally fuck their shit up! And then at the end they should escape in an AT-AT. At the moment, the resistance have: Baseball Bat, Baton, Crowbar, Machete, Katana, Cricket Bat w/ Nails, Broken Beer Bottle, Chainsaw, Shovel, Browning 9mm, Glock .40, .38 Colt Detective Special, Smith & Wesson M629 .44, Sawn-off Double Barrel Shotgun, Remington 700, M14, Molotov Cocktails, Homemade Satchel Charges. And you have to have dinosaurs...Zombisaurus Rex ...and it should be on a boat. And you can tame the dinosaurs and ride them and fight the tremors and trade them with your friends online and go to the Andrew WK concert. And then you should walk into an operating theater only all the seats are full of ... get this.... Vampires. At which point things start to get a little crazy. And at random points there should be a guy making crazy noises like BLEARGHAGAHGA! at 300% volume. And then when you turn around, it's an M&M. A zombie M&M. Made of bacon. And then when you shoot it to pieces it's full of tremors and beetles. And you have to collect multi colored gems to seal the evil in Castle Grimmdeath forever and if you run out of money, you can go into the casino and play blackjack or poker to get more. And there should be a minigame where you play football against a zombie team. Weapons list for what? For our raid on the white hou-- horse. Also, have a talking horse too. Only he's sassy.

-Gus