From: Justin Holmes
To: The Orange Arrow
Subject: I've been gone gone gone, I've been gone so long, I've been gone gone gone so long.
Hello Gus, and our loyal Orange Arrow readers. How is everything? How's the website? I mean,
I go there every day, but whatever. It's me! Justin! That's right, THE Justin. The other
Orange Arrow guy. For those of you who don't follow my life as closely as a metaphor for
something following something really really closely, I have been working for the last thirteen
days straight. That's right. No days off. It's not like the work is easy either. It's hard
farm work, where big men move big machines around and swear a lot. This will continue for the
next two weeks or so, so you guys probably won't be seeing much from me. I'm surprised I've
managed to make the three or so comics I made so far... How come you're not making any comics
Gus? I'm just wondering is all... Feel free to answer that truthfully, or with a wildly
exagerated answer. Well, until my eventual return to the land of the living, have a good one
PS: You're all babies, and you cry a lot. And I love you for it.
Hi Justin, Hi loyal readers. Everything is fine, the website is growing so fast and is always
asking to hear stories about her Uncle Justin. Yesterday, she said her first swear word. I'm really
proud. I believe the metaphor you were looking for was: "For those of you who don't follow my life
as closely as a baby possum following it's mother." It's a known fact that for the first few months
of the possum's life it uses it's mother as a transportation vessel, clinging to the mother's nipples
with their teeth and claws. Now that I've effectively alienated everyone except Justin...and maybe Bram,
I'd like to say how much I pity you and that I hope you return from the robot farm on Mars soon. We're
all surprised you've managed to still make comics in your lack of spare time and if you hadn't told anyone
you were working, I'm sure no one would have noticed. As for me not making comics.....my...hands...were...
....um.....blown off.....in....a.....hmmm.....in a telephone bomb explosion! That's right! I have no hands!
I'm typing with my nose right now! Yeah, I have no hands and I still manage to live life! That means
I'm a hero! .............that was obviously a lie.......honestly, if I draw on the computer, I lose my ability
to draw by hand and vice versa. Right now I'm contemplating which one is worth more to me, but I can't bear
to choose. In closing, I hope when you return to the land of the living, you don't come back as a zombie or
other undead-type creature, because then I'd have to kill you.
Little known fact:Gus used Justin as a transportation vessel for a two-year period in the 60's by burrowing into
his spinal cord and building a small home for himself, complete with furnishings and a billiards room.
Occasionally, my heart just stops for several seconds at a time. It's like micro-death.
The Orange Arrow is hosted on Keenspace, a free webhosting and site
automation service for webcomics. All works on this site are property of the authors and are not to be used
without permission. Seriously, I'll make your genitals rot off or something.