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Crap - Thursday, August 1st, 2002

A Conversation about SuperPowers.





Gus, The Master Blaster: Hey, if you could have any super powers which ones would you have?

Moss: Time based.

Moss: Definately time based.

Gus, The Master Blaster: That's a good one

Moss: I know. Possibly the ultimate one.

Gus, The Master Blaster: I just want all of superman's powers but not the kryptonite weakness.

Gus, The Master Blaster: yeah, you could really mess with things if you had time powers.

Moss: Stop time, slow time. Pretty impressive.

Moss: Oh yeah. And if you could pull other people and things into a bubble of perpetual time, so that you and your friends could run around with everyone else frozen. Oh yeah.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Whoa that would rule.

Gus, The Master Blaster: And then you could just rob banks in a fraction of a second.

Moss: I know. I've contemplated this in detail.

Moss: I know. But hell, why would you NEED to?

Gus, The Master Blaster: like the clock king from batman did.

Moss: You could HAVE anything you wanted!!

Gus, The Master Blaster: I guess.

Moss: yup.

Gus, The Master Blaster: But I would still want supermans powers.

Moss: And travel in the blink of an eye.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Than I could fight crime.

Gus, The Master Blaster: and become a shining beacon for all humanity.

Moss: And you think a time-lord could not fight crime?

Gus, The Master Blaster: Well I imagine a time lord would become extremely apathetic from having such mighty powers.

Moss: I guess it was hard for Superman not to do that, too.

Gus, The Master Blaster: yeah

Gus, The Master Blaster: I imagine if i was ME who had superpowers I would probably get sick of helping people.

Moss: But he was a real hero. In spirit as well as body.

Gus, The Master Blaster: But I would still do it.

Moss: To be a true hero, on needs that kind of golden mettle.

Gus, The Master Blaster: I think I got what it takes.

Gus, The Master Blaster: I'm very determined and I do have a hero complex.

Moss: What a coincidence! I base my entire life around defining myself as a hero.

Moss: It's rather infintile and it's constantly limiting me.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Yeah, it makes you feel a lot better about yourself.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Yes, I notice that too but I want to stick to my guns on this.

Moss: I know. When you actually succeed and someone's like "You're my hero!" That rocks.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Yeah! That's the climax of it!

Moss: That makes my soul orgasm.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Oh no!

Gus, The Master Blaster: Not enough people say "You're my hero!" though

Moss: No. Not nearly enough for me.

Gus, The Master Blaster: That's all I want in life, to be a hero.

Gus, The Master Blaster: To be adored by the masses, all other things are meaningless to me.

Moss: My god, Gus. You're the first person I've ever met who completely understands and shares my goals.

Gus, The Master Blaster: yes we are kindred spirits, we have to team up to fight crime.

Moss: Unstoppably.

Gus, The Master Blaster: I call sidekick.

Moss: Good. I call hero.

Gus, The Master Blaster: And I get to wear a paper bag instead of a mask.

Gus, The Master Blaster: a paper bag and street clothes.

Moss: I want a utility belt.

Moss: With a comb on it.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Oh yeah, you gotta have one of those.

Gus, The Master Blaster: A giant comb?

Moss: Well sure, why not.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Would your utility belt just mostly have hair care products on it?

Moss: I imagine so. And a mirror or two.

Moss: Now what sort of villains would we combat? Would we specialize?

Moss: I need to know this first.

Gus, The Master Blaster: I imagine mostly street thugs

Gus, The Master Blaster: and eventually we'd meet a villian we could call our arch enemy

Moss: ok. I can do that.

Moss: Because I'd need to change my gear if we fought vampires or lyncanthropes or something like that.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Not really, we could just rip their heads off....of course that's true of an villian we would fight,

Moss: Absolutely.

Gus, The Master Blaster: But if we did that people would probably start to not like us...

Moss: Can you imagine a Superman-like hero with no weaknesses and a complete master of time working together?

Gus, The Master Blaster: yes, they would be unstoppable.

Moss: We need to be just.

Gus, The Master Blaster: and super-cool.

Gus, The Master Blaster: okay. Moss you have to find some way to be absorbed by the timestream.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Meanwhile I'll get hit by the leftover particles of an exploding planet.

Moss: Consider it already done.

Moss: Go for it./

Gus, The Master Blaster: I just need an exploding planet...

Gus, The Master Blaster: ..i only really have access to the one planet....

Gus, The Master Blaster: I've already prepared every other section of my life for my future life as a superhero

Moss: We need to BLOW IT UP

Gus, The Master Blaster: I converted my room into the perfect fortress!

Gus, The Master Blasterit has a computer and a mini fridge...and robot workers!

Moss: I wanted an underground base under Quadra Island, which I would be able to elevate and fly around.

Gus, The Master Blaster: we could just move my room underground.

Moss: ok. Let's do that. I need an access tunnel from my place, though.

Gus, The Master Blaster: start diggin'!

Moss: With a Batman-esque transport luge.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Oh man! that would rule!

Gus, The Master Blaster: We need a suped-up car then too!

Gus, The Master Blaster: or some kind of flying machine!

Moss: I want a flying island, goddamn it! But I guess that's not very maneuverable..

Gus, The Master Blaster: Yeah, and if the villains figured out which flying island we lived in we would be constantly under seige.

Moss: But we could disguise it as a normal island in the water.

Moss: They'd never know.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Villains are pretty cunning, we would need to cover every inch of the island with high powered lasers.

Gus, The Master Blaster: and then after than cover all the centimetres with lasers too.

Moss: Well I think that's a given, Gus.

Moss: And organized, uniform lasers, too. Not the jumbley ones in movies that thieves can clearly slip through.

Gus, The Master Blaster: yeah

Gus, The Master Blaster: and we'd need a high tech prison to keep all the villians who could easily break out of normal prison.

Moss: I really hate that. Why don't they just have a laser WALL? That you CAN'T sneak through?

Gus, The Master Blaster: A laser wall? An idea so preposterous that it must be done! Good man!

Moss: No Gus, not just good. Super.

Gus, The Master Blaster: haha! of course, how silly of me.

Gus, The Master Blaster: I actually have thought about this subject a lot.

Moss: haha!

Gus, The Master Blaster: I even made a logo for myself

Moss: Likewise. I'm pretty sure I think about being a hero in some way or another every day.

Moss: I have gone through too many logos.

Gus, The Master Blaster: yeah me too. I finally settled on this one though

Moss: oh good. Can I see it?

Moss: Do you have it on the computer?

Gus, The Master Blaster: yeah, i just need to find it.

Moss: I've tried to make an effective "M" logo, but it's tough to do something new. There's a lot of "M" heros out there.

Gus, The Master Blaster: this is the wallpaper version

*** Moss has received G.jpg***

Moss: ok

Gus, The Master Blaster: normally there aren't stars and junk behind it

Moss: i see

Moss: I like it. It's very universal.

Moss: Recognizable as a heroic logo, but not cliche.

Gus, The Master Blaster: yeah, it's a nice one

Moss: I like it.

Gus, The Master Blaster: I went through a whole notepad making the perfect one.

Moss: Usually, my "M"s wind up looking something like this:

Gus, The Master Blaster: this is the fruit of my labor.

Moss: Oh well. I tried to send you an example "M" that I just drew in a few seconds, but it wasn't neccessary.

Gus, The Master Blaster: oh man, now that i told everyone about it, everyone wants to see my logo.

Gus, The Master Blaster: it makes me feel great

Moss: Dude, obviously. It's a superhero logo. Everyone wants a peice of it.

Gus, The Master Blaster: I liked designing it, it gave me the kind of feeling i imagine superhero's have when they make their costumes.

Moss: ooooh. Man, I'd love to design my costume.

Gus, The Master Blaster: I would just want my logo on a normal shirt.

Gus, The Master Blaster: and a paper bag mask.

Moss: Anyways though, I need to sleep for work tomorrow. Goodnight.

Gus, The Master Blaster: Okay good night



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